One can view the recent complaints about sex education in our schools as fair when you look at how the graphic detailed explanations of performing the act itself with a view to protecting oneself from STD's seems to be the main focus (according to the articles I have read and the reports I have heard) instead of those good old fashioned (and very important) priorities of love, respect, and commitment (which, actually, bring their own form of protection from STD's). Now that I think about it, those highly charged moments in my teens had little to do with respect for anyone or anything. And I confess that all the good things about having a solid relationship never really occured to me until I was much older. So, I guess, whilst it would be nice for schools to include these good old fashioned virtues in their sex education lessons (and I think they should) I am unsure of how they will be received. I am little troubled/concerned that it appears boys from the age of 12 are (reportedly) being told that experimentation at that age is ok with consent from the girl. The legal age of consent for girls is 16 years... Even so, at the end of the day can we really blame our schools if kids are getting in too deep too young?
Well, yes, and no.
There is a train of thought that would let one think if kids didn't know what they learn at these sessions they could not perform the act. I think there is some truth to that but I think they would still try at some point and attempting things in ignorance is probably not such a great idea.
Oh I was angry when I read the articles and heard the media reports about sex education in schools today. I confess I thought 12 years of age is too young for kids to understand this stuff but then maybe the schools are responding to need? Maybe kids are doing this anyway? And, as mentioned earlier, information is better than ignorance.
But what information should be taught? When I was at school sex education was focused on the reproductive systems. And I think that should be part of it today as well (none of the reports or accounts that reached me said this is the case). I also think emotional, social, and financial perspectives should be included in the mix. Age considerations (in terms of the legal age of consent) should be in there too. Add in the good old fashioned values and virtues and I think we are well on our way. "How to" demonstrations using black condoms on dildo's (as some reports mentioned), whilst probably still important to include, is not enough.
Some say the DPB is to blame for the high pregnancy rate amongst teens. I believe that, in the heat of a teenage hormonally charged moment, caution can be thrown to the wind in the belief that "maybe we will get away with it just this once". That is when we can be grateful we do have such a great system to help mother and child if and when it is needed.
Based on reports I have seen and heard so far I think that more, much of which may well be ignored by teens in the short term, could be included in school sex education programmes. But I find it hard to "blame" the schools too much. Do you know why?
Because I believe decisions made in this aspect of teen life has a lot to do with self respect. I think that respect begins with self. I think a person who values themselves has more chance of valuing others too. I think a person who values themself has less chance of wanting to harm themselves or others. And I am sorry parents, but you can have more influence on your kids in this area than the schools do. Starting from a very young age too. That, more than anything else, will guide your offspring through those rough teenage years when all those hormones are flying out of control and decisions (good and bad) are being made (and the corresponding lessons being learnt).
So could schools do better? Based on the reports I have seen, most probably.
Can we blame them? No. I don't think so. They are not there to keep our children ignorant so that parents can avoid the tough assignments for as long as possible. And they are merely responding to the needs they see. Parents could do more by simply presenting as the best example possible, far earlier than when they think the child will need to see it. In fact, why not from the get-go?
Don't want little Johnny to be abusive towards women? Then don't abuse your significant other.
Want little Jenny to have self-respect? Then ensure you demonstrate that yourself.
Want Humphrey and Helen to minimise their alcohol and drug dependency? Well... do you minimise yours?
Even when parents do present as fantastic role-models things can still go wrong. But do it anyway. We expect our sports heroes to do so. And it is not their job to bring up our kids. No. Ultimately, parenting is a parent's job.
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